sunday morning ramblings!!

As I listen to Anna Nalick's .Breathe..2am...it just makes you think that women are just so sensitive, like a real justification and consolation her voice brings...it just makes you want to sit quiet and ponder...that particular litany is just so soft and melancholic, just like KT Tunstall singing other side of the world.It would have been different. And it is. Things are different. Yet the same. The internal fabric is so destroyed that it's difficult to become the same person again. And like we move forward. And lovers who turn around at the wrong times. You just know that things are not going to be the same. You want to work it out, but you leave the effort. You just want to be. And now you try to cradle the memories in your hands. Hold them close as you move from one cloudy weather to the other.

Yesterday was really relaxed.

Went shopping to Lokhandwala, bought me white leather shoes with brown sturdy laces. They look classy, but nothing that i'd wear. Got myself a really good skirt...hehe..and my free kurta..it was wonderful. I and shruti end up having so much fun! have gotten thru life with such precious frends and my family..sometimes, i am crushing harder in melancholy. than anyone wud ever know. anyways..gotta get back to work. and its a sunday!!! :D

Muffled scream

Tears in my eyes.
Wanting an escape, trickling down the beach,
and mating with the sea.
Pure me, pure me.
I scream from the wild and make an echo in the wind,
running, free from independence, now howls of agony burst forth,
and I am troubled.
Yes, I see.
Me troubled,
and I ask for help, in setting me free.
Will you come and help me? Will you? Do you know me?

I have awakened from my beauty sleep

A vacation is what you need when you just want to feel that pampered again. A vacation reminds you of the lovely kindergarten days when you can just lie about and do nothing, and it seems you're doing so many things...AAh never mind. Life is just that I guess. When it comes to vacation. But the brain isn't resting. It is more like restless. Forever wanting to dive in and out of things...wanting to find a way of how to make bloody good money, or just scheming a way to be happy 20 years from now. You get what I mean. This vacation was a lot of that. It was about letting yourself free. See I am not the abstract one, I will tell it like it is. But I will evade what I am trying to say to you and you'll probably just get it.

Calcutta is where I was. It was wonderful.Friends, Family and so on and so forth. Wow. Why haven't I travelled before. i need to find some travel buddies. Lol.Travelling is just so much fun. I need to have read Jerome K Jerome before left that would make me less schizophrenic...ha ha.

Even as I sit back and ponder, and write a few reviews which I have seen, it seems like I love to be enveloped in a thick sweater of comfort. Never wanting to get out of this cocoon. happy the way I am. Just the way things are.But really is this how I want to be?

Sure.

:D


A cold morning, which felt as a breeze
A clothing line, overlooking a tram line
The future seemed bleak with a strike in preparation
Words and conversations
interrupted with welcoming food
Sumptuous and home cooked
love and care
A tinge of excitement
Lucid and soft feet
wondering in the streets
A journey that became a loving ride
Memorials and Paintings
Taking you to an era gone by
Splendid city, marvels you
The prayers of a distant shore haunt you
The sight of the goddess entices
as her world in which you try and rejoice
The journey carefully treads on mystic verses
With happiness you smile as you close your eyes
Taking it all in, Now or Never
The Smell of Calcutta will linger forever


:)

The palm of comfort

Long time no see.

Lot of things happen, mostly we come to acknowledge them and most times we don't.Like a child who gets down from a free ride, shows her drawing to you and you appreciate it, she claps, and you smile, her mother gets down, not acknowledging your presence and then she walks off. You take the ride to your destination. You stare at faces in the train, sadness, anger, a daze. A journey is mere contemplation, a reflection on the thoughts of idiosyncrasies, weird as they are but very individual and itchy. At times, they move you, at times they ennervate. I am here now, I am happy now. The world is moving on.

Things change, people move. And in their hearts they are still the same. You watch a movie, it takes you in on a life's secret. A peepshow, A gossip column for you to later elaborate on, as a review or as a recommendation. An act that is completely natural. You listen to Beethovan and you dream, you move with the rhythm and you beg it to not stop. Just one more time.

Don't you just love to run, run wild, amok? I like to run. It's freedom, when I would run in school I would do it because I wanted to win, I now want to run because it makes me feel better, maybe I want to remember what it was like...

I observed a sparrow, Passer Domesticus, I observed how quaint they are, chirping away, so cute indeed, and I wondered that they would be the most free birds in India today besides the crow. So free. Indians believe crows to be freespirits of those who have left us for the heavens and it is such a beautiful notion that besides the stork and the hawk, a domestic bird lives a free life. Now as more and more concrete buildings come up, the numbers diminish. Maybe the crow will live, for it is well fed by the orthodox society. But the poor lil sparrow will vanish, as she finds that the cities have begun to ignore them. I remember an old poem in Marathi which went, chimni bai chimni bai kuthey jaata ghai ghai?

Hey Sparrow lady , Hey Sparrow lady, where are you off to?

Well, in a few years, that poem will diminish too.

***

Children of Heaven

I saw the movie Children of Heaven; here's my review on it:

http://www.mouthshut.com/review/Children_of_Heaven-137321-1.html

***

A new leaf!

Agra's Taj Mahal is real and beautiful.
Saw some pics mom got from her trip will be posting one of em here. She had the flash on, even after the one hour training I gave her. hehe, she'll catch on.But I am so glad, her pics look just as beautiful as the Taj. My Mom the real Mumtaz, for in her world, she is really the greatest :)

***

When you close your eyes, and listen closely to Dido's voice, it sounds like you are sitting by the shore, and soaking in the songs of the waves. It's like your conscience is singing. It's your inner self.Even if it's not yours. She is surely singing mine. :)

New songs, eh?
It's Hard Sun, by Eddie Vedder, powerful and exotic, and the voice of Vedder has the same power and the passion.Simply fabulous.Makes you weak in the knees, and the intellectual brain takes a rest, or rather gets invigorated at the most creative approach to life. The guitaring is simple strumming and the breeze moves with a force that baffles you, and you simply gape in awe.

My favorite part of the lyrics :

Once I built an ivory tower
so I could worship from above
when I climb down to be set free
she took me in again

Vedder rocks!


Listening to the new album by Collective soul : Afterwords

New vibration and a couple of songs are really beautiful. NV is reminiscent of Heavy, but Heavy rocks forever. But NV is a good feel, its a fresh feel of Heavy and its always great to be hearing collective soul again!

***

Advertising is crazy, makes you THINK!

***

Salman Rushdie, I know him since 40 pages. He is quite a writer, only because I can picture him talking and jumping from one topic to the other. But I cannot see him. He gets lost in a minute. I have to yet discover him.

***

Che Guevera sits on my shoulder, it's a tattoo I got my bag, and now many more will follow. If not motorcycle diaries, then it will be something I yearn for and find. One day, I will have it.The search is definitely on.

***

Ok one important news is that Shreeja is finally going to be a part of the Kanoria family. A perfect consummation, to a perfect start.
P.S : Shreejey, Me loves ya very much!

Astalavista!

On the other side of 30

It's been a while I have posted here. What shall I write? Where shall I begin? Past few days, I've had them all to myself. Though dreamily waking up only with spasms of cough that i leap to my feet, and instead of welcoming the beauty of the blue sky, I am unable to smile because of the sadness within. Getting lost, minute by minute. For a while I know where I am. Know what I am doing. Happy with my work. But there is always something missing. Losing my youth? Is it alrite?

But am I learning more about being old. About, sadness. About the loss of youth in my youth. The reflections. Yes, I am learning that. I have seen someone swallow his sadness in coming to terms of old age, someone agree disbelievingly, with tightly shut eyes, that youth does, really does go away, leaving that little finger only for another little finger to grab hold of that one, a child's little finger. Saw men, struggle with existence of some. Curb their enthusiasm because of someone's dictatorship. Listen to someone else's songs as they soothe them, while others wring their hands in agony, and always wondering, and expecting, of a new day to come.Maybe being 30 is about compromises, coming close to one another despite misunderstandings, being young forever in the hearts,but still being the same person. Is it possible? Intrinsically. When you meet them at the right time at the right place. At that right moment, when that beautiful note hits them. They probably know where they are going, carrying that stash, and hungrily grabbing at it,while they sulk in one of their cubicles, wondering about life.

oh here's something i have been wanting to send as my resume! :)

myoclonus within my synapse

Listening now to whimpering and crooning sounds of maroon 5 and james blunt. breaking the clutter with screams and howls..no one can reach the radiohead, no one can fathom the betrayal of pearl jam. no one can understand this, now. the present.Weaving happiness all around you, becoming mystical now, my hand moving at a rhythmical pace, or is it mechanical. online friends, type , smiles..haha...oh cheesy, cheeky, sly...eventually, eventually...a death..creeping death..evil mind...reaching down...to the abyss, where my heart lies...now its cold, so cold, i feel it inside me..the lacerations, bearing fruit, unfathomable spirit, breaks down into a million pieces, gonna get up, wake up to the menace, say no, say no...now you can't do anything about it. drop the gamble, feel me, hear me out.

its out in the open, an earthquake, brings forth your spirit, and you soar, you sacrifice and no one realises, what you've actually given up, a part of me , a part of you. Excuses take form of addiction and well, they become you...walk away, again, don't turn around, statue!

you've turned to stone, told ya not to turn around.

scream, scorned.

no one's listening to the grief within.

breathe. slowly. now, its coming inside.

l...i...f...e....

Ask yourself. Do you really belong. such an effort. is it worth it?

Maybe, we should just say a goodbye, and get over with it, guitar riffs we never unduzzstood. we dont seem to care of the snares or the drums...bio rhythms..uncanny souls, a dip into the sea...to neverland. No more quietness will be heard. No one cares.
Caught up in the web. Struggle has been fruitless..given up. no more now.

Reminiscings

walking in the abyss. a forked path, take the one less travelled. get lost in the abyss. going furthur down. meet hellraisers. send me up. I float, pushed down into the fire. Burn, burn, burn. to ashes. Maxim, the first name on the cross,you see as you enter the graveyard. smell of dried fish. something, dead. something decayed. soul. now equals to ether. the passion reads off the lips of a sufi saint. A passion understood by two souls, not recognised by one as love. A distance of time doesn't separate two souls, indifference does. A feeling, morbid, a feeling distant. A never ending search. A search found by a man in a woman. The most beautiful gift, they both receive in the form of love, friendship and passion.

walking away now, for these thoughts torment me. My years of gravel have cemented these thoughts, and now the soul can do without the physical, the memories are themselves wholesome beings. I have empowered them.

I weep at the thought.

I was reduced to, by the prejudices.

Its hard to keep an open mind, we try. But its hard to keep an open mind.

Amen

Time has passed into oblivion, and upturned that stone, and now the stone has molded, it is now a pebble.

People who are subjected to hurt, n' number of times. Do you think they ever feel the kindness that comes later in their life or do they stop loving god. Or do they take their life as a mere existence and continue to live. Like you. Like me.
Life goes on. But, for whom, for that lifeless soul. And it waits on them, who take their own time to get back to life, and its pleasures.

***

A chinese song has its own soft -pop melody, maybe south asians truly know the meaning of love, and are not inflicted by circumstantial lesbianism/gayism. That's how I'd like to term it. The songs, mostly like their love songs seem like they are sung, while walking on water, lucid, smooth and indepth.

***
Work being approved is like a blessing, that has the power to raise your confidence from the abyss, to a comforting cushion, where you have time to nurse those wounds, which you received when you took that plunge.


***

Advertising world is crazy.

***

UP bhaiyas or Uttar hindustanis, oh yeah, 35 lakh in Mumbai city alone.And most of them are those rickshawalas. Well, they'll know one thing for sure, while their first month in bombay; their customers love to have a conversation. Talking about the pathetic state of things in the city, is the best topic, to have them converse in.

***

Reading is a good habit. Only when nothing else is interesting.

***

Exercise is when you start to sweat, and strolling in the park is not called an exercise!!

***

Obituary: Venkatesh Gdwr
You had a lot of love inside you, which you even showed, to your family, and those who came to visit you.

But you taught one important lesson: If you don't save. You die a merciless death.

enituoR.enituoR.enituoR : That's what life has become.

Its happy diwali

and I am not in the mood to celebrate, with grandpa not here, its a little damp. i smile, I talk, I weep when I see movies, but its not the same. There's grandpa right in front of my eyes. drifting. Smiling, forever smiling. And always in my heart.


I have moved on. Thankfully. I was evading from a gruesome attack that had plagued me but I am out of it now. And on the path of self renewal, a few old familiar faces keep me company and let me drift in this life. Exploring. Finding curiosity in a child's eyes, is most amusing to me. It wraps my heart with such fondness that I seem to be falling in love with kids at first sight. I was a kid once, and I am still a kid now.

Thoughts of food entice me, and that seems to be the only instant gratification I have found besides music and movies.

Maybe now is the time to really create. I will make these 3 days really memorable, I promise.

Today, a familiar face stood in front of me, hanging by the handles of the train.And neither of us, wanted to know what we both were upto. We didn't care. I smiled at the circumstance, but I was never a good friend of hers. But the formality, we thought wasn't required. I have gained weight, and she on the other hand looked quite fit, but troubled. Doesn't everyone of us look wearisome, after a hard day's toil. Maybe the life in Bombay is making us, machines, a well-oiled machine with no sentiments left...

I happened to remember I had the 'Dombivali fast' Cd with me, and it so happens that my Mom was really eager to see it for quite sometime now, so well, in the CD went, and boom the movie began. Sandeep Kulkarni stars in the film, and the film cruises with such dexterity, that you are astonished at the wit and exactitude of the dialogues, there's no doubt that he's a theatre actor. The feel, the passion. Brilliant. A few Marathi movies have been able to achieve such repertoire. It is one of the excellently directed and well performed movies of all time for me. It's something like Nayak, starring Anil Kapoor. However Nayak, was a movie that strengthened hope while this one, slaps you with practicality.It is so heartrending, to see a Mumbaikar who is fed up, actually emerges from the sea of people that walk the crowd and grabs your heart, squeezes it so hard that it hurts, the monstrosity does. But that hand leaves and you sink back into your chair with thoughts whirring in your mind, and you just wonder. What now.....What now?

Sandeep Kulkarni, I have heard also stars in a Marathi play called Aamchya Gharat, and I was 10 years old when I saw it, at a Ganeshotsav Mandal in Lokhandwala.I still remember the intensity. I would love to see it again.

And on the office front, I realised that I proved today that I was a true blue movie buff. And I deserve a trophy. Well, all in all, a decent end to a fairly good start.

Faith departed. Has it happened too soon?

Faith.
I have lost faith. would that also mean passion? yes. I have officially lost it.
Ok. Human nature is predominantly and is unabashedly ruled by Desire.And if you stare even for a second around you, you will see people battling for a bargain, saving money, using it for another of their artificial necessities. You don't stop. And when you do, you begin writing this piece like I am doing right now, to get it off your chest. To contemplate and find an answer. And most of you just don't. Because there are a lots of things to do. I had them too, but seems like I lost my path, and no one showed me the way. To get away from it all we listen to songs. Most songs we hear, are always melancholic, sad or contemplative, wondering, most times I am trying to picture someone who could fit that song, how am I supposed to relate to it otherwise? So the ones don't fit in. I just don't listen. That's how you ask your friends to help you with a good set of contemplative songs/ ghazals / happy/ fun/ sleazy/ songs, so that they elevate that mood for you.That's the way it works. But songs are one of the best temporary solutions you can find, besides shopping and food and friends. I saw this movie, the other day, Pursuit of happyness. It's a briliant story, and I want to feel that way. I really do. But my faith has departed. It's hard to bring it back, I need to live for something, that truly means something to me, and once I do, maybe I should find it sooner, or else it will be too late.

* Ironically as soon as I posted this, my player sang this song " AAshayein" from the movie Iqbal :)

Maybe there's still hope left, or I just need to wake up to find that spirit.

Today is the day when I clean my keyboard. :)

This is to remind me, to take care of somethings left undone.

Another uneventfuls

ok ok. won't discuss supernatural powers or anything like that or the Sahaja yoga....damn! but I discovered something, that is important to me. And there, I don't care what you think. Thank god! WE CAN'T SEE GOD, OR I'D BE RATHER BORED BY HIS DIKTAT, AND I WOULDN'T HAVE HOPE LEFT!

Anyways, it was a relatively fine day. I am quite close to being broke, that's probably why I shun the roadside bhel. I live a normal life, get excited on fridays, spend weekends contemplating about anything under the sun, then give a lazy stretch on sunday nights, and sulk at the thought of mondays. Bas, nothing great has happened in this Creative's mind so far. I just love cooking up whacky ideas, that only a few intelligent people like me get( hehe). Guess what?! I SAW AN AD FROM THE New York festivals, and my idea was in there. Damn, isn't that great?! But my boss knows, and well forget about it, I don't want to tell you how it went, because it doesn't matter, because he dint make a big deal out of it. Damn! anyways, maybe a lil moreeeeeeeeee hardwork, should be applied, to win this war.

HMPF! G'nite and really good dreams, but not so good, that they'd make you want to sleep even more, to get that one nice smooch from that love you recently found interesting ;)

Au revoir!

Some things left to be said.

I had wanted to write this piece for a long time. I didn't get a chance to. I enjoyed every bit of the escape I had desperately wanted to achieve. And even put my 'passion' at risk. and went to an Alumni party.
It was fabulous. Because there were a few familiar faces. Thats the beauty of life. when you get to smile at a person, and he/she smiles back.It's beautiful. We shed our inhibitions, I let the rum take the better of me and gave in to the lull of the music.It was grand.I did miss a few people. Yes Shreeja I missed you, very much. We just went crazy. The entire feel was more like, hey we are MICAns and its our party. Damn. It felt splendid. I haven't danced so much since I've been back. I recieved a call, from a very old friend of mine, and I felt a twinge of emotion that every Bridget Jones would feel. But Alas, every dog shall have his day.

Lesbians, gays what's the deal anyways? There's this one guy I know, who came out of the closet. Admitted it, in a cult magazine, and well, he's quite hot I must say. but then when you go deeper, you probably just don't realise, what they are talking about, until you're one of them. It came as a shock. But then, it was alright. It was about, just letting some things be. Not imploring so much, or giving so much thought to it. Sexual attraction or lust, they are relative. friendship and love, they are too, but whats the validity? When do you realise you're gay, a touch, a look. Is it just hormones. Is it convenience? Is it ridiculous, or is it just normal?

I found the answer to life, the other day, while I pondered and discussed with my mom and hten told Dad, he said, he'd be back with an answer in 2 days, today was Day 1, i am waiting for Day 2. When he actually puts up a fight. When I had the answer to the purpose and the working of the universe, I felt empty, like after this, what? And my head started aching tremendously. But I still have a job to do. I have to go on living.

:) and a smile is the best way to begin a day right!

Prime Movie - 2005-* Meryl Streep, Uma Thurman, Bryan Greenberg

Saw this movie, on a lazy saturday afternoon, munching on lays and some Maggi.

It is a different take, as far as romantic comedies go.
Meryl Streep, acts as a Shrink, who lives a strict, conservative Jewish life. Her son, whose life seems to be suppressed, is caught in the daily trials of living a Jewish life and the Great American dream. Uma Thurman, has recently been divorced, lives the life of a model producer, in sexy Manhattan and is looking for love, and surprisingly, finds it with a 23 year old. I won't reveal the plot here.

If you're a perspective movie-watcher , you'd like the movie. Uma Thurman's visits her shrink, and like all people, she loves to go in great detail, about every aspect of her monotonous, sad life. Well, and the poor shrink has to just humour her. And she does. She does a perfectly good job at it. Bryan Greenberg, is a young boy, who falls head over heels with Uma Thurman, when he meets her at a disco, she's his dancing queen. Well, he calls her up, they meet for dinner. She lets go, they kiss in the garden, while they discuss their age. And well, Kaboom! they are in a relationship. Brilliant, ain't it? Yes. She lets herself go, for a little bit of fun. And well, her Shrink leads her on. Everything is fine, Amazing sex, Amazing conversations despite the 14 year old difference. Boy 23, Girl 37. Well, mid life crisis, isn't bothering her so much. But, she isn't giving this relationship her all, that's her problem. She keeps asking her Shrink, if she's doing the right thing. Meryl Streep on the other hand, is caught in two different worlds, and she has to fight her own war, and she does it beautifully well(Man, I just love this woman!). David, learns and discovers himself. Uma, has a wonderful rebound period. And Meryl, she gets along, and life goes as planned for her, just the realisation changes her completely, maybe we all are learning.Thats what life is, an incredible experience!

I had fun, watching this movie. But, I writhed once. But it goes alright, something like "Little Children". But, I guess, America has much more mature thinking going around, than what they make us believe, but they do have their own share of Miss South Carolina's too.

Who are we to judge, some of my best directors come from the US. I am not complaining.


P.S: The point is, you watch the movie or not, it will just give u a peek in the life of those celebrities who are dating older women, and what their life could be like. Meaningful or just plain fun? Well, you decide.

And we raised the Trophy! not the finger ...lol

Ah We won! At last.

Yes, this is the wonderful game of cricket I am talking about.And India won. Finally.The crowd at Johannesburg was a mini India really, with flags unfurled, and the roar of an Indian cricket maniac reverberated in my ear even after the chaos had died down!Boy! it was a match to have " Not missed". It reinstilled my faith in this lethargic team, and I felt immense pride as the boys ran in the ground parading with my Indian flag. I normally don't watch cricket matches so much, but a match with Australia and Pakistan and Sri Lanka are one of those that Keep me hooked on to the Television set.







This match had me and my mom in splits. Coz of nervousness, of course. Its funny how, when when Pakistan could have easily scored those 158 runs, nobody could do a Yuvraj, by giving 6 sixes in an over.We changed the channel, when 7 balls were left, to Sony Pix, where this fat old guy from Robin Hood's team falls into a puddle, and starts struggling and only when Robin helps him up, he says thank you for saving my life. LOL. We couldn't stop laughing. We waited for shouts to emerge, to know if someone had taken a wicket. And in a minute or two we did. We swapped the channel to ESPN, and there it was written, in quite modest letters: India win by 5 runs. Oh it looked so brilliant.




One thing for sure. The captain of the Pakistani cricket team, when he comes to the podium,after receiving his medal, to chat with Ravi Shastri, he thanks the Muslims in the world,And when Irfan Pathan comes to chat with Ravi, he says, Insha allah, as he began saying his thank you. Its like God was on both the sides. It was only the skills that mattered today,and a little bit of luck.


I must say, hats off to Dhoni, for being a wonderful Captain, with an aggressive spirit and a steady mind.

Keep making us proud, as they CHAK DE INDIA!

P.S: Shahrukh Khan was there to cheer on, but the boys surely took the limelight, and SRK looked like one happy Indian, who couldn't contain himself as he lifted Harbhajan paaji up in the air!

I am just talking whatever is in my head right now, thats all.

Stretch. Pull your arms at the back, give that lazy smile, and return to the normal position. WOW. that feels real good, right?
Ok, Have bunked worked today, and the inspiration has not only come from avoiding the unwanted puddles that reside at the station, with peoples spittoon mixed in them, the dirty platforms, educated women who cud easily be recruited in the profession of fisher folk, its also my Boss. Its annoying. To face all this and then get comfy in at your desk, where the only people you find yourself reciprocating with are your 30-something colleagues. There is a grand desire to stop and stare at the computer and listen to the silence. Which is often and most occasionally being disturbed by the unnerving, unstable, and hyperactive copywriter. Yes, that would be me. Wow, but being a copywriter who writes about medicines and advertises them to just make a hit with the doctor. let me tell you, that advertising is a lot more than what we do here. We are merely the super puppets of our servicing agents who are the puppets of the clients. My servicing head is really impressive, sometimes I think that he's more smarter than my Boss...lol.

***

But you don't expect an agency looking like a you'd be walking in the emergency room next.Thats what my wonderful little world where I spend my 13 hours of my life at, looks like. Yea, I have a handful. And well, each day, I just possibly try to get along. And it hits you, when your work isn't approved, or more likely not liked as to the tuning of your servicing people's inclinations.Yea, well who cares really? I do, becoz my job is on the line right. One of the agencies who happens to pay a lot more to copywriters. A hell lot more. So the question should be. We are such suckers for money. Haven't we all heard. Money makes the world go round. Nah not only that.

Money makes your world, lick you, walk with you, walk behind you, trail you, fan you, call you for meetings, parties, heck even for conversations, so that they get some dope on your basics, or where u learned them from. Bastards. Liars. Hell, who cares of such fake people. We rather leave them at the doorstep and never meet.

I walk this world with my head held high, and when I remember things that have hurt people, I realise I am just human, and walk away with a little guilt in my heart.

profound eh?

Bah!

Why am I here?

OOOhh here it comes.I have said it. Have been doing a little philosophising lately. Oh don't we all?Life and Death. The eternally mystifying question. But I have stopped thinking about it, only to realise that I can't make my head work at it anymore. Thinking about it 24/7 anyone can worn oneself out. I have been beaten by this question a hell lotta times. Its like trying to solve a geometry problem, only you don't know the step by step procedure for it.

In this Spanish movie, I forget the name. A man who has been paralysed for 28 years,and who seeks euthanasia, is given a deadly medicine, by his best friend and lover. She quietly asks him, facing the most beautiful view,he would have ever seen in his entire life. And whispers; " When you die, would you come to visit me in my dreams?" And to that, that old sprightly man replies, "Dear, I would come to you in your dreams and slip under your sheets and make wonderful love to you. But, to tell you the truth, I believe that After Death, there is absolutely nothing. Man comes from nothing and goes to nothing. He is alone when he enters the world and alone when he leaves it."(The quote is not exact, yet i have tried my best to tell you what he meant, with the help of lyrics of Outlandish song- Walou)At that, his lover is taken aback, yet hugs him.

This is what I believe too.

We meet several hundreds of people everyday. School, college, work, neighbours, work colleagues. What is the point? There is no point to any of it. But maybe just maybe. We get along with a few, and only those who stick to our hands like the grains of sand as it leaves our fist, those are the truly good ones, who have come to tolerate us.

For they are the ones, who truly love.

Hitchhiking to America on a Borivali local

I am on the road, with Jack.
Jack who? Jack Kerouac, of course.

He is an American novelist who started the 'Beat generation', in fact the most innovative travel writer of all times. The book On the road is simply lip smacking, literally. I have never enjoyed any book so much as this one. Let me elucidate.
I love traveling. I have hardly gotten out of Maharashtra, been to Gujarat and the south. But never really just traveled. And what liberation you feel to be out there ...3000 miles away from the author's home, on his journey,and yet still come home to eat mom's home cooked meal :)
I have experienced raw America in the past 2 weeks and yet sadly have been able to cover only 60 pages of exhaustive traveling. I have known the people ' Sal' is crazy about.By Sal I mean, Sal Paradise, who is in fact 'Jack'. Dean in particular, who Jack is fascinated about.Dean is Neal Cassady in real life. Dean is someone, you are going to be in awe of, especially if you relate to the author. I do. I think the writer thinks exactly like me. He loves the people who love life. Or if the life seems tragic they run to find adventure. Well that's how life should be right. Well, its just perfect spontaneity. Only I wish I could have done that exact same thing. I will, soon. Give or take a year or two.

There is one particular quote I really like;

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

This book is a rare find, and well not everyone can find it in Mumbai.If you do then mail me.PLEASE!
I have been trying to get this book since 2 years,and I stumbled on this site that has a wonderful 178 pages pdf. And every night while I leave work, I make it a point to get a print on 10 pages, which I use on the reverse the next time, so that i am not wasting pages, and my journey from Mahalakshmi to my home has been in fact, California to Arizona to Denver to New York. And it has been adventurous and simply marvellous. So if you're interested in taking a look at the beat generation and the wonderful life that's out there. Read this book. It's worth any dope that would give you a high. It's worth giving up your favorite anything, just... only just to live life like a free man / women.

Here's the link if any one of you wants to go for one helluva ride:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/15803/On-The-Road-Jack-Kerouac