Listening now to whimpering and crooning sounds of maroon 5 and james blunt. breaking the clutter with screams and howls..no one can reach the radiohead, no one can fathom the betrayal of pearl jam. no one can understand this, now. the present.Weaving happiness all around you, becoming mystical now, my hand moving at a rhythmical pace, or is it mechanical. online friends, type , smiles..haha...oh cheesy, cheeky, sly...eventually, eventually...a death..creeping death..evil mind...reaching down...to the abyss, where my heart lies...now its cold, so cold, i feel it inside me..the lacerations, bearing fruit, unfathomable spirit, breaks down into a million pieces, gonna get up, wake up to the menace, say no, say no...now you can't do anything about it. drop the gamble, feel me, hear me out.
its out in the open, an earthquake, brings forth your spirit, and you soar, you sacrifice and no one realises, what you've actually given up, a part of me , a part of you. Excuses take form of addiction and well, they become you...walk away, again, don't turn around, statue!
you've turned to stone, told ya not to turn around.
scream, scorned.
no one's listening to the grief within.
breathe. slowly. now, its coming inside.
l...i...f...e....
Ask yourself. Do you really belong. such an effort. is it worth it?
Maybe, we should just say a goodbye, and get over with it, guitar riffs we never unduzzstood. we dont seem to care of the snares or the drums...bio rhythms..uncanny souls, a dip into the sea...to neverland. No more quietness will be heard. No one cares.
Caught up in the web. Struggle has been fruitless..given up. no more now.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Reminiscings
walking in the abyss. a forked path, take the one less travelled. get lost in the abyss. going furthur down. meet hellraisers. send me up. I float, pushed down into the fire. Burn, burn, burn. to ashes. Maxim, the first name on the cross,you see as you enter the graveyard. smell of dried fish. something, dead. something decayed. soul. now equals to ether. the passion reads off the lips of a sufi saint. A passion understood by two souls, not recognised by one as love. A distance of time doesn't separate two souls, indifference does. A feeling, morbid, a feeling distant. A never ending search. A search found by a man in a woman. The most beautiful gift, they both receive in the form of love, friendship and passion.
walking away now, for these thoughts torment me. My years of gravel have cemented these thoughts, and now the soul can do without the physical, the memories are themselves wholesome beings. I have empowered them.
I weep at the thought.
I was reduced to, by the prejudices.
Its hard to keep an open mind, we try. But its hard to keep an open mind.
walking away now, for these thoughts torment me. My years of gravel have cemented these thoughts, and now the soul can do without the physical, the memories are themselves wholesome beings. I have empowered them.
I weep at the thought.
I was reduced to, by the prejudices.
Its hard to keep an open mind, we try. But its hard to keep an open mind.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Amen
Time has passed into oblivion, and upturned that stone, and now the stone has molded, it is now a pebble.
People who are subjected to hurt, n' number of times. Do you think they ever feel the kindness that comes later in their life or do they stop loving god. Or do they take their life as a mere existence and continue to live. Like you. Like me.
Life goes on. But, for whom, for that lifeless soul. And it waits on them, who take their own time to get back to life, and its pleasures.
***
A chinese song has its own soft -pop melody, maybe south asians truly know the meaning of love, and are not inflicted by circumstantial lesbianism/gayism. That's how I'd like to term it. The songs, mostly like their love songs seem like they are sung, while walking on water, lucid, smooth and indepth.
***
Work being approved is like a blessing, that has the power to raise your confidence from the abyss, to a comforting cushion, where you have time to nurse those wounds, which you received when you took that plunge.
***
Advertising world is crazy.
***
UP bhaiyas or Uttar hindustanis, oh yeah, 35 lakh in Mumbai city alone.And most of them are those rickshawalas. Well, they'll know one thing for sure, while their first month in bombay; their customers love to have a conversation. Talking about the pathetic state of things in the city, is the best topic, to have them converse in.
***
Reading is a good habit. Only when nothing else is interesting.
***
Exercise is when you start to sweat, and strolling in the park is not called an exercise!!
***
Obituary: Venkatesh Gdwr
You had a lot of love inside you, which you even showed, to your family, and those who came to visit you.
But you taught one important lesson: If you don't save. You die a merciless death.
People who are subjected to hurt, n' number of times. Do you think they ever feel the kindness that comes later in their life or do they stop loving god. Or do they take their life as a mere existence and continue to live. Like you. Like me.
Life goes on. But, for whom, for that lifeless soul. And it waits on them, who take their own time to get back to life, and its pleasures.
***
A chinese song has its own soft -pop melody, maybe south asians truly know the meaning of love, and are not inflicted by circumstantial lesbianism/gayism. That's how I'd like to term it. The songs, mostly like their love songs seem like they are sung, while walking on water, lucid, smooth and indepth.
***
Work being approved is like a blessing, that has the power to raise your confidence from the abyss, to a comforting cushion, where you have time to nurse those wounds, which you received when you took that plunge.
***
Advertising world is crazy.
***
UP bhaiyas or Uttar hindustanis, oh yeah, 35 lakh in Mumbai city alone.And most of them are those rickshawalas. Well, they'll know one thing for sure, while their first month in bombay; their customers love to have a conversation. Talking about the pathetic state of things in the city, is the best topic, to have them converse in.
***
Reading is a good habit. Only when nothing else is interesting.
***
Exercise is when you start to sweat, and strolling in the park is not called an exercise!!
***
Obituary: Venkatesh Gdwr
You had a lot of love inside you, which you even showed, to your family, and those who came to visit you.
But you taught one important lesson: If you don't save. You die a merciless death.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
enituoR.enituoR.enituoR : That's what life has become.
Its happy diwali
and I am not in the mood to celebrate, with grandpa not here, its a little damp. i smile, I talk, I weep when I see movies, but its not the same. There's grandpa right in front of my eyes. drifting. Smiling, forever smiling. And always in my heart.
I have moved on. Thankfully. I was evading from a gruesome attack that had plagued me but I am out of it now. And on the path of self renewal, a few old familiar faces keep me company and let me drift in this life. Exploring. Finding curiosity in a child's eyes, is most amusing to me. It wraps my heart with such fondness that I seem to be falling in love with kids at first sight. I was a kid once, and I am still a kid now.
Thoughts of food entice me, and that seems to be the only instant gratification I have found besides music and movies.
Maybe now is the time to really create. I will make these 3 days really memorable, I promise.
Today, a familiar face stood in front of me, hanging by the handles of the train.And neither of us, wanted to know what we both were upto. We didn't care. I smiled at the circumstance, but I was never a good friend of hers. But the formality, we thought wasn't required. I have gained weight, and she on the other hand looked quite fit, but troubled. Doesn't everyone of us look wearisome, after a hard day's toil. Maybe the life in Bombay is making us, machines, a well-oiled machine with no sentiments left...
I happened to remember I had the 'Dombivali fast' Cd with me, and it so happens that my Mom was really eager to see it for quite sometime now, so well, in the CD went, and boom the movie began. Sandeep Kulkarni stars in the film, and the film cruises with such dexterity, that you are astonished at the wit and exactitude of the dialogues, there's no doubt that he's a theatre actor. The feel, the passion. Brilliant. A few Marathi movies have been able to achieve such repertoire. It is one of the excellently directed and well performed movies of all time for me. It's something like Nayak, starring Anil Kapoor. However Nayak, was a movie that strengthened hope while this one, slaps you with practicality.It is so heartrending, to see a Mumbaikar who is fed up, actually emerges from the sea of people that walk the crowd and grabs your heart, squeezes it so hard that it hurts, the monstrosity does. But that hand leaves and you sink back into your chair with thoughts whirring in your mind, and you just wonder. What now.....What now?
Sandeep Kulkarni, I have heard also stars in a Marathi play called Aamchya Gharat, and I was 10 years old when I saw it, at a Ganeshotsav Mandal in Lokhandwala.I still remember the intensity. I would love to see it again.
And on the office front, I realised that I proved today that I was a true blue movie buff. And I deserve a trophy. Well, all in all, a decent end to a fairly good start.
and I am not in the mood to celebrate, with grandpa not here, its a little damp. i smile, I talk, I weep when I see movies, but its not the same. There's grandpa right in front of my eyes. drifting. Smiling, forever smiling. And always in my heart.
I have moved on. Thankfully. I was evading from a gruesome attack that had plagued me but I am out of it now. And on the path of self renewal, a few old familiar faces keep me company and let me drift in this life. Exploring. Finding curiosity in a child's eyes, is most amusing to me. It wraps my heart with such fondness that I seem to be falling in love with kids at first sight. I was a kid once, and I am still a kid now.
Thoughts of food entice me, and that seems to be the only instant gratification I have found besides music and movies.
Maybe now is the time to really create. I will make these 3 days really memorable, I promise.
Today, a familiar face stood in front of me, hanging by the handles of the train.And neither of us, wanted to know what we both were upto. We didn't care. I smiled at the circumstance, but I was never a good friend of hers. But the formality, we thought wasn't required. I have gained weight, and she on the other hand looked quite fit, but troubled. Doesn't everyone of us look wearisome, after a hard day's toil. Maybe the life in Bombay is making us, machines, a well-oiled machine with no sentiments left...
I happened to remember I had the 'Dombivali fast' Cd with me, and it so happens that my Mom was really eager to see it for quite sometime now, so well, in the CD went, and boom the movie began. Sandeep Kulkarni stars in the film, and the film cruises with such dexterity, that you are astonished at the wit and exactitude of the dialogues, there's no doubt that he's a theatre actor. The feel, the passion. Brilliant. A few Marathi movies have been able to achieve such repertoire. It is one of the excellently directed and well performed movies of all time for me. It's something like Nayak, starring Anil Kapoor. However Nayak, was a movie that strengthened hope while this one, slaps you with practicality.It is so heartrending, to see a Mumbaikar who is fed up, actually emerges from the sea of people that walk the crowd and grabs your heart, squeezes it so hard that it hurts, the monstrosity does. But that hand leaves and you sink back into your chair with thoughts whirring in your mind, and you just wonder. What now.....What now?
Sandeep Kulkarni, I have heard also stars in a Marathi play called Aamchya Gharat, and I was 10 years old when I saw it, at a Ganeshotsav Mandal in Lokhandwala.I still remember the intensity. I would love to see it again.
And on the office front, I realised that I proved today that I was a true blue movie buff. And I deserve a trophy. Well, all in all, a decent end to a fairly good start.
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